Do you feel safe? Understanding the Importance of Safety in Relationships

In our daily lives, safety is crucial for shaping our behavior, decisions, and overall well-being. Safety manifests in various forms, from physical security to emotional stability. While external factors like living in a secure neighborhood or having a stable job are important, it’s equally essential to ensure safety within our relationships. Whether in a family or romantic context, maintaining healthy relationships and recognizing signs of abuse are vital for emotional well-being and security. Understanding and promoting domestic violence awareness and support for victims are key steps in fostering safe and healthy relationships.

The foundation of feeling safe in relationships often begins in childhood. Growing up, most children learn key principles of safety such as “stranger danger,” looking both ways before crossing the street, and not taking candy from strangers. These principles are vital! Children rely on their caregivers to provide a secure environment where they can grow, learn, and explore the world. A nurturing and supportive upbringing fosters a sense of safety that can have a lasting impact on a child’s development and future relationships. Promoting a safe and healthy environment in childhood is crucial for emotional well-being and building strong, secure relationships later in life.

However, in our pursuit of safety, it's crucial to acknowledge what is not safe. Toxic relationships, harmful environments, and destructive behaviors are fertile ground for domestic violence and can all pose threats to our well-being. Recognizing these red flags and having the courage to distance ourselves from them is an essential aspect of self-preservation. Never be afraid to be your own advocate and ask for help when it comes to your safety.

While we can establish certain parameters for what constitutes safety in relationships, it's also essential to trust our gut feelings and instincts. We as humans decide whether we feel safe. We were created with instincts. These instincts help us to decide what’s right, wrong and how we feel. This feeling can be “something doesn’t feel right.” You just can’t explain it but it’s that gut feeling. Go with it! If something doesn't feel right or triggers a sense of unease, it's crucial to listen to those signals and address any concerns promptly. Our instincts are powerful tools that can guide us towards creating healthier and safer relationships. Trust your gut or what I like to call, God giving a warning of what’s to come.

According to PsychCentral there are 4 behavioral roadblocks to emotional security in relationships:

1. Defensiveness: Feeling judged or attacked when someone gives us feedback.
2. Criticism: Constant pattern of blaming, correcting and nitpicking.
3. Contempt: Mocking, sarcasm, name-calling, hostile language and nonverbal behavior like eye rolling.
4. Stonewalling: Silent treatment.

Safety, in essence, is the state of being free from harm or danger. It encompasses physical safety, emotional security, and psychological well-being, all of which contribute to a sense of overall security. Feeling safe allows individuals to express themselves authentically, take healthy risks, and form deeper connections with others. Ensuring safety in relationships, whether through recognizing signs of abuse or fostering healthy boundaries, is essential for emotional stability and personal growth.

Just remember that safety in relationships is a fundamental aspect of our overall happiness and mental health. By cultivating trust, open communication, and mutual respect, we can create environments where we feel valued, supported, and secure. Remember to trust your instincts, listen to your gut feelings, and prioritize your safety in all aspects of your relationships. 

That’s all for now. Be empowered, you are loved by God and a beautiful creation. Until next time, take care of yourself and others. 💜💜